懊恼

今天真的很头痛，因为自己感情问题处理不当，
结果一次又一次的请假，
所以最后学生还是跑了一些，
院长虽然只是稍微的责备了我
其实也没有责备
但是却觉得好自责

现在最懊恼的事情是万一我的学生来源真的没有了，
就会对我的经济来源造成影响，
毕竟我还答应老公，答应自己要好好地存钱和计划
因为之前的不负责任
结果造成今日这个模样
但是后悔已经是很来不及了

问题是和那个婆娘又闹得很不愉快
学生们开始不大尊重我
我想离开
但是我不愿意放弃这个高薪水的工作
所以我要做的应该就是改变自己
立刻找更多的学生，慢慢建立起自己的王国
让院长知道我才是比较值得的
加油加油

安慰自己
我还有私人补习能够帮我顶住
要加油啊
一课都不能缺席
以前能够做到，现在也是能够做到的，我不会放弃的

useless

i am just a useless thing as i always think so much
since when
i am not sure also
how come i become like this?

i should learn to be stronger..
actually
we can't read ppl's mind
so just be yourself
just pamper urself
cos no one can love you as urself

gambateh
shumin :)

Afraid

today when i am looking at the homepage of facebook
i saw a status which made me afraid

a girl beg to her boyfriend to have a 2nd chance..
he refused
the girl finally blessed him for happy life
sudden
the boy said he wanna prove to everyone how deep he loves the girl
and he wanna proved that the girl only a bitch that never love him

will this happen on me or it's already happen?

today

last night
i did reckless
i felt sorry as i always follow to my heart and do apologize for choosing a wrong timing to solve the problem that i wish to solve as well

actually
i just have a minor request from you
i just wish to have our past precious time
but i knew that it won't come anymore

every time
i asked you
do you have any word wanna talk to me?
you said, no i don't
but lastly
you had lots of blaming but you just kept it in the deepest place in your heart

i do really felt regret for betraying
the good day won't come if we do not know how to let go the past

wasn't easy to forget and forgive

i taught that everything will have the happy ending if we had try hard 

i taught that i can have a happy ending at last

but finally not

i am too naive to have this naive thinking

as i always trust that who is going to give and going to take also

but if something happened

it couldn't back

and it won't have a happy ending anymore

he won't treat you as before

and you will also don't know how should you treat him when he already treated you cruel

feel lost

i had pass a tough day that i cant imagine

if you really love me

i really wish that we can have a normal and peaceful beginning again

sorry